Help Make Parties go Better!

Bring flowers from your garden

If you want to enjoy parties better; help your host(s) enjoy their parties more; and generally improve all functions you attend, here are some ideas.

First: you’ve been invited. If it’s on FB — there is no need, ever, to RSVP that you’re not coming. Ever — send the host a private message filled with love and enjoy your trip to Spain. Why? A FB event that’s filled with negative RSVPs can be a real downer — skip it. Thanks.

Arriving: Check out my thoughts on parking, here. And car horns here.

When I entertain, I really like to have time to talk to people and enjoy myself. What helps me do that is guests who make themselves feel at home. They can do that by: looking first and asking questions second. The attitude I’d love people to have is that my house is their house (mi casa, su casa!) and that if they need anything they can search for it themselves before asking me. Here are some easy things that any guest has permission to find in my house (and perhaps yours): a corkscrew, the bathroom, a lighter, any kinds of dishes; hand towels; a blanket; etc. That’s the first step in lessening the burden/distraction level for the host — look for things yourself first and assume that your host would much rather be having a great conversation than answering your location question.

Second, come to the event early and ask if there is anything you can do to help set up. Better yet, come early and just start jumping in and doing the obvious. Does it look like the tables and chairs are set up for maximum flow? If not, move them so they are. Are the dishes done? If not, do them. Is there a last minute need that the host has — ask and then run out and get the order filled.

Are you shy? Are you nervous at parties? Well, getting there early and adding your sweat and energy into getting things in order will help make you feel more a part of things and your host will love you for it. Also, there’s an old marxist saying that if you put your labor into something it’s more yours. True here, too.

Some more things you can do to make the party flow better — act like the host. Feel free to play greeter and be close to the door. When people come you can welcome them, take their coats, and take any food or drink they’ve brought and bring it to where it needs to go. Imagine how much more ease you’ll create by doing this. How’s the music? How’s the lighting? How’s the ambiance? How’s the temperature? These are all things that the host may or may not be good at and/or might be too busy to mind. Feel free to adjust.

When more visitors start taking on the attitudes and actions outlined above, gatherings will surely go better. I’ve been taking on this attitude for years and I think it’s helped the hosts of events I’ve attended have a much better time. And when the host is having a good time it gives a signal to everyone that it’s time to have a good time.

Feel free to try this out over this holiday season and let me know how it goes. If you have any questions, please ask and if you have any further suggestions, leave a comment. Thanks!


Reminder: RSVP’s — future article on why to rsvp directly to a host you can’t come (on FB events) rather than saying why you can’t make it and have a good time. Example: I’m camping that weekend or, I’ve moved. An event that’s full of these makes it seem like no one’s coming and can be a real bummer for the host.




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Albert Kaufman

Albert Kaufman

Join my monthly newsletter, The Eleven, to learn what I'm thinking about and my recommendations for saving the planet.

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